Finally be able to breathe

I miss you.
That's been my thought for the last half hour as I sit on my couch
Watching little wisps of smoke curl
Off the end of my cigarette.
I miss you and I wish I could tell you that,
Not because I want to make you feel guilty for leaving;
You shouldn't.
You have every right to do what you think is best for you,
and it's been selfish of me to be angry with you for doing just that.
But I know that I can't tell you that,
Or any of the other three thousand things I want to tell you
So I just here and let my tears fall gently down my cheeks;
Somewhat soothing the raw emotions running through my chest.
You still have a very tight grip on my heart and I think that
Maybe I'm the one holding your hand in place,
And I need to let go.
Maybe if I do that,
I will finally be able to breathe.