Hard Choices

She always said I was strong,
and I never believed her.

I still don't.

I count on my best friend,
to tell me how it is.

She tells me I'm strong,
I think I understand....
I can always make the hard choices.

Even if it hurts.

The most recent choice,
was the hardest yet.

If you love someone,
let them go, they say.

I let her go...

She wouldn't admit it,
but things were bad.
I became a stranger-
to myself.

I couldn't love her enough,
because I'm angry all the time.
I couldn't help myself,
because I worry about her.

She doesn't understand;
she thinks we can manage.

But why?
Why should she manage?
Why should I manage?

Why can't we live?
For ourselves.

I've always said,
you never know what will happen,
and that everything,
happens for a reason - whatever that may be.

Maybe...one day,
in the future,
I will be ready for her.

She is amazing,
and now...
she's gone.