Oceans and Seas

by MoonMaiden   Oct 7, 2017


I see couples holding hands
Im wishing that was us
The waves rush up from the ocean
We have seagulls instead of doves

I see the blue house there I like
The one that made me fall in love
Wishing that was our house
Slowly rising above

Like the tide when it changes
And the sunset becomes pink
Walking down the sand bars
Taking in everything

The wind is slightly breezy
The night chill starts to set
Everyone is leaving
Im in no hurry to get back

Because its so pretty out here
A beautiful place its true
But theres one way to make it better
Thats only if you're here too

I know we will have our chance
Just have to take it one step at a time
Like walking through the bayou
When the weather aint feeling right

Just dont give up fighting
Like hurricanes in october
The storms can get powerful
But you are in the eye
You have the strength of water
When it takes everything but your soul

Im not saying it to scare you
Just something you need to know
I will always stand beside you
Not matter how bad the weather
For you are the ocean and i am a feather

You, so dark and vast
Me a flowing spirit
Floating from the past

Together we became one
Even though some think it couldnt be
United they have faced many trials
Like the oceans and the seas..

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Ya----Na

    Because its so pretty out here
    A beautiful place its true
    But theres one way to make it better
    Thats only if you're here too

    I admire the whole poem but this stanza I loved the most.

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    As ever there are some good descriptives and rhyming in this piece which makes for good reading especially when read aloud as it seems to flow off the tongue

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello CJT
    There is much of this that I like. I love the nature references; they show: strength, vulnerability, hope and more. I like the mystery of the journey and the descriptions of places, like the blue house.
    I wonder if you separated the long trail of text into stanzas if it would make for easier reading? This aside, I like the varying line length which certainly highlights areas, like,

    You, so dark and vast
    Me a flowing spirit
    Floating from the past

    Little gems like this help to make this poem a little diamond.

    Well done.

    • 7 years ago

      by MoonMaiden

      Thank you for your insight. Changes have been made. (:

    • 7 years ago

      by Mr. Darcy

      This is much more pleasing to the eye and highlights the rhyme and helps pace the poem out nicely.

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