I don't want to zone out.
I want to remain as conscious of my life;
of my every act.
Is there anything I could do?
To still feel the same way I do
But be as conscious as possible as I can be
Just as when I sometimes write
When I zone out, I go into a trance
And the poem writes on its own
Be it free verse or be it formed
Why can't I be fully aware of what Ido?
Why must I feel the need to sleep?
Can't I just fight through this alone?
Can I remain awake and fight for what is right?
Why must my body shut on its own?
Why must my mind sent me to my own world?
I can see the other world
But I know that's not how the real world is now
It's not butterflies and skies
Where one may fly freely through the clouds
Without fearing an airplane may appear
And in a whiff cut out our wings
I just don't know why I feel this way
My life is great. I am perfectly sane.
It just this ache in my chest
That pounds and pounds unlike my heart
As if it calls me to write
And then my mind drift into the world of words
And I'm taken aback
Just watching my fingers move
And the ideas drawing in my head
I'm experiencing a full ride
Until I crash
And I sleep
Then I awake
Then I feel tired
And I cry
And I laugh
And I live life
But then again this ache comes back
And this sadness overtakes
And then happiness arrives
And I feel sane
I feel fine
I'm well aware of what I see
of what the reality and the imagery world are
I just feel like sleeping and awaking to a world
Where I can help people live in peace
But when I attempt to go out of my shell
This sleepiness gets a hold of myself
Then my chest aches
And the ache does not let me be
Until I write and write
Until I go into some sort of trance
Then I awake
And I forget
Or I remember
Then I forget
And I fee fine
But oh man
Sometimes,
I'm unconsciously conscious when I write
And sometimes I'm consciously unconscious when I live my life
