memos to an angel

1.

swinging under stars
will only cause me to fall under my own reflection
into an oasis as bright as a sun
yet     miniscule like an orbiting Pluto

she soars above
spreading wings tied to skies
through the atmospheric barrier
causing dark matter to clash with her white feathers

tearing my ducts
as they dripple down the vines
holding the stave keeping me sturdy

2.

growing  wings
would be the easiest way to glide in her stead
she would fly so much higher
without my weight

although
even if we could fly

touching the heavens
is not where a demon belongs

3.

wallowing in angst
with hands grasping the ground

anxiety overcoming flight
wishing to soar higher than a moon

looking up as a feather falls
sometimes    pondering if it were her

4.

yet    even if it were her feather
it will never be the same

her disingenuous kind   inconsolable   smile
dim    guiding    light
unconditional love

its just not the same
without her

5.

swallowed in the shadow of an angel
where unconditional love existed

drinking her darkness
and eating the gravel scraped up slightly
from the soles of her feet

my fate and burial

6.

abandoned
forever a slave 

resting in the piece 
of my own shattered heart

oh     how to love an angel