Heaven

by IdTakeABulletForYou   Nov 8, 2017


I whisk away the dreams of days
gone far beyond my grasp,
and unto me do wish to see
much better days than that.

I filter through the brisk, cool nights,
the stars I've gazed upon,
and hope to know, in those ahead,
nights finer than ones gone.

I close my eyes and see my life,
what's passed and what's ahead;
I only hope a better life
is waiting once I'm dead.

-IdTakeABulletForYou

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Paul Hirst

    Lovely flow

  • 7 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    ohhhhh.... S
    WOW! I love your dark stuff, but this... wow. I enjoy this side of you..

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Stephen, keep perusing that happy poem. I will always love your dark works. This is no exception, well done-

  • 7 years ago

    by Michael

    A clever piece.
    Who knows what lies in wait, and you have penned this really well.
    Well done
    Michel :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I have to be honest, the first stanza threw me a little as I was expecting it to rhyme, but it didn't but the other two stanzas did. Anyway, aside from that, this is a dark and imaginative piece with a terribly sad ending.

    Take care, Stephen.

    • 7 years ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Actually, it does rhyme. It's an assonant rhyme instead of a perfect rhyme. Indeed, it ended dark, though it was not my intention; I have been in pursuit of a happy poem for some time now but they always take a turn toward the dark side.

      Thanks for commenting Ben,
      S

    • 7 years ago

      by Ben Pickard

      lol, okay Stephen, fair enough. I should have been clearer - last word rhyme. What I meant is the format of the rhyming is different but that doesn't matter a bit; poetry is free and different styles are there to be experimented with.

      All the very best

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