The Light Switch

Injustice,
undermining my soul's ambitions,
has brought me to this co-ordinate
in existence.
A place where pleasure wilts by
pining from the past,
looking to the future,
or staring in the mirror.

In comprehending reality,
I wonder surreptitiously:
What has it done to me?

Abolished into a realm, of my own doing,
what once were interstices between happiness
have grown to be lightyears of darkness,
each gap I'm not sure I'll survive.

What is the point of living
if happiness is ever-present in the distance,
but unreachable?
Why am I forced to carry burdens
and smile as they burrow holes in my back?

The unanswerable taunts me,
as do my soul's ambitions,
tucked away in a summer
lost many years ago.

Over those years,
I've found my existence to be a light switch,
and it takes one flick to turn it off.
My finger hovers.
Oh! It hovers,
as I contemplate down to my last molecule
if being here really matters,
if my co-ordinates are a destination
or a dead end.

I lose myself in the moments passing.
Over the many years of staring longingly at this light switch,
I've found losing myself is the only way to keep the lights on.

-IdTakeABulletForYou