Alone

I don’t really see
A reason to live
There’s not much to take
There’s not much to give

I’m never happy
And smiles are rare
Why am I so miserable?
It’s really not fair

I never go out
I hide here alone
I don’t go out with friends
Or talk on the phone

And then an idea
Came to my head
I shoot myself, stab myself
Somehow make me dead

There were many ways
To execute these kills
And I chose the way
Of alcohol and pills

I swallowed the pills
With a few hard straight shots
And then I realized these
Were the last moments I got

So in my short time
I wrote a letter
Telling my mom
How I couldn’t get better

I can see her face
As I sit and die
I’m trying real hard now
Not to cry

My hands slowly shake
And my vision is blurred
I can’t hear anything
As I’m slowly deferred

My heart is racing
And my breathing is heavy
But I can hear mom
Pull up in her Chevy

She walks into the room
And looks at me
I try to hide it
So she won’t see

I say that I’m tired
And going to bed
She tells me she loves me
And plants a kiss on my head

I walk upstairs
And lay in my bed
As thoughts of regret
Run through my head

I feel bad to leave mom
Because daddy left her too
I wish I could run down
And say I love you

But it’s too late
The dirty deed is done
There’s nothing to do
As I drift into the sun

My eyes start to close
As I fall asleep on this cot
And my body’s getting tired
As my heart begins to stop

I fall into my dream
It’s the only place to go
And a tunnel appears
As white as the snow

Up is heaven
And down is hell
I was trying to fly upwards
But instead I fell..