Broken (Repetitive Sonnet Kinda Thingy)

by CJ Maleney   Nov 14, 2017


Nothing so broken as a broken dream,
Nothing so broken as a man who could be.
Nothing so broken as a god viewed vow,
Nothing so broken as a loved ones cloud.
Nothing so broken as a shattered heart,
Nothing so broken like a family apart.
Nothing so broken that you can't repair?
Nothing so broken like my despair.
Nothing so broken as my mind and soul,
Nothing so broken my hands won't hold
Nothing so broken as by stupidity,
Nothing so broken like the foolish me.
Nothing so broken by eyes that can't see
Broken I am, and I I deserve to be.

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    I actually love this Craig. Its raw just as it is. These are what you felt at that moment and glad you posted because I resonated with some lines here.

  • 7 years ago

    by Mark

    I find repetition beautiful at times in poetry, as I do here.

    • 7 years ago

      by CJ Maleney

      Thanks Mark. Many don't so much appreciated

      Craig

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Craig, I am so glad you decided to post this. I'm also very happy that things are better now. Well done -

    • 7 years ago

      by CJ Maleney

      Thanks Bren.

      Not all better yet, I'm in a very long tunnel but there is a light at the end.

      Craig x

  • 7 years ago

    by Michael

    Craig,

    Never be afraid to post, especially like this. I love how you have weaved this together, with so much emotion fella
    Nice one
    Michael :)

    • 7 years ago

      by CJ Maleney

      Thanks dude.

      I wasn't afraid to post it though, I'm not afraid to post anything regardless of how it's perceived. I didn't post it because I hate it! I hate where my head was at the time and the events that caused it's creation.

      But! I will always post what I write eventually, even though it's not always instantly.

      Sometimes you need to get your head wrapped around things first. Not sure if that makes sense but it's kinda how I think and feel about stuff.

      Regards

      Craig

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Craig, a held off post or not, this was worth the wait. As you know from my pm, I love the repetition here; let's face it, that's the crux of the poem, structurally at least. I understand that not everyone might like it, but repetition can work well in poetry. (see 'Kyrielle' - a form that relates to this).

    Take care, good man

    • 7 years ago

      by CJ Maleney

      As always dude total respect.

      To be honest it was your message that prompted it's posting. I really don't like the poem, hence it's tittle. Absolutely zero thought went into that tittle,

      As for style and structure. I don't really have one. I'm not lessened in poetry and it was something school didn't touch. I have noticed (on reading back) my rhymes pretty much always follow the same formulae.

      The first and third lines never really rhyme, it's the second and fourth line in any stanza that kinda glue things together.

      As always I appreciate your words and so so praised on this occasion

      Craig

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