I am a leach

I must restrain from nursing you-
from thinking you and I are kin from common hurt.
I must not let you be my lily-
bowing pallid and ashamed,
a tortured accessory
crammed in the corner
like a bloodless self-portrait.
I must stitch my lips
to smother my obscurus.
Armour myself in kindly grins
to make a pure snow shield
over the licking hell of my affliction.
You- breezy innocent
who seems to me as willowy
as red-cheeked radiance and cooling air,
must never know
must never let me lynch you
with my grim and glutting words
for I would slaughter us both
-yes-
I would murder us both.