Wow! Yes, this was graphic but don't apologize. It's really written beautifully. I really felt the character in this and his quandary of what he does. I know it's not A subject normally discussed but you have it justice. Well done -

Dark, graphic, extreme and unsettling. Yes, all of that. But ... poetry is art, and art has always been about making the person looking at it feel something, be that good or bad. And this is a brilliant piece, so well woven and his despair so well expressed. :-) x
=^.^=

No apology needed here. I liked the layout and the language too. After all, when painting a picture of sodom, we use a depressed dark palate.