Twas The Night Before Christmas: (Christmas Eve Shopping Woes)

Twas the night before Christmas
And no stores were alive,
Except for Wal-Mart
Because they always do thrive.

The rollback signs were hung
With such great care,
In hopes that last minute shoppers
Soon would be there.

Christmas music was ringing
In both of our heads,
While visions of sleepiness
Made our eyes red.

Mama in her pajamas
And I in my flannel tee,
Had just settled our brains
For a late shopping spree.

When from one aisle over
There arose such a clatter,
That I sprang from a half slumber
To see what was the matter.

Away to the ruckus
I flew like a flash,
On four wabley buggy wheels
That I nearly did crash.

The mood on my face
It surely did show,
Gave a lustre of curiosity
To my eyeballs a glow.

When what to my weary
Sleepy eyes did appear,
A rare moment of laughter
But I was too tired to cheer.

Was a content little stocker
So lively and quick,
And I knew at that second
My eyes wasn't playing tricks.

More swift than eagles
His rollbacks they came,
And he whistled and shouted
As he called them by name.

Now Smiley now Jolly
Now Happy Now Giggles,
On Cheerful on Bliss
On Merry on Chuckles.

From the bottom of the shelf
To the top of the wall,
Now cut back cut back
Dash away all.

So into my shopping cart
The rollbacks they flew,
With a buggy full of savings
It made me smile a little too.

And then in a twinkling
I heard behind me,
Grabbing and fighting
Like you wouldn't believe.

As I shook my weary head
And was turning around,
I saw a couple of shoppers
Get knocked to the ground.

They were covered in disgust
From head to toe,
And all smiling faces were tarnished
Because of their woes.

A bundle of wanted toys
Were thrown to the floor,
As panicked shoppers fought
In the middle of the store.

Their eyes how they twinkled
With demonic fire,
Their intentions were opposing
With overwhelming desire.

Their droll little hands
Were drawn up like a bow,
As their selfish ways
Swayed to and fro.

With the rollback specials
Held tight in their arms,
And no one really cared
If they brought any harm.

The craziness encircled them
Just like a swarm,
So much so
That they all were warned.

But they all just scoffed
As they fought for their scores,
Right there in plain sight
Some down on all fours.

They were slapping and punching
Such a sad sight to see,
But I still let out a laugh
Everytime they couldn't agree.

A sock to the eye
And a smack on the head,
Soon made me realize
I had a lot to dread.

So I spoke not a word
As I raced to the checkout line,
And emptied my entire buggy
In hardly no time.

As I sprung from the store
I let out a big sigh,
Thankful I escaped
Without a single black eye.