I defied the season of happy holidays, continuous from time to eve's time,
Day by day, life has become an open space, an oblivion where nowhere left to
head to,
A cup of brewed coffee in the wee hours of the morning
Made a noise in my crumbling path,
The silence of flying dragonflies leaves winter ashamed, of what dignity left it has,
I stare at the rusty window-sash,
The cheap clothes on the draperies almost dryin',
I can see them,
Yet the love who once stayed with me
Still made my face damp yet ever so sober, deep in this restless heart
A short-lived remembrance of what once was here, moping,
As books on my shelf used to be read, but its pages never turned again,
For they remained only a trimming, a decor too dull for Christmas celebrations,
I hear the innocent children sing in rhythmic carols,
The sound of tambourines seemed loud clamor,
A tasty fruitcake looked putrid before I took a tiny bite,
As small as jubilation I felt next to my little toddler,
The christmas tree played colorful lights,
In green, red, blue, or orange,
It would have rather played a light black,
Seems like the cachinnation of them
Converted into gloom without my half-heart I'd kiss in the morning's winter rush,
Underneath the mistletoe is a trace of past's joy,
The warmth of random kisses from year to year already relinquished,
Gloomy as a dark cloud hovering above my head,
Only my child keeps me from the brink of utmost loneliness,
Of knits, assorted socks hanging distinctive sizes on our wall,
Kept us company, my child and I locked in entwine,
At the strike of midnight's hour,
I can feel Saint Nicholas won't be coming at this eve's time,
No bells ringing with the collars around his deers' necks,
Rudolf, prancer, dancer, vixen, or nixen's,
Bells will be ringing only in my mind,
Yet a tune we hear from the radio counted from a quarter to twelve,
We sat on the table and softly prayed for life's few blessings we had,
Only a shadow of my son's dad of beneficence
Made a perfect sense of imperfection,
At the midnight hour...only one missing,
Husband and father...wishing you were here...still.
