This is a confession as much as it is a disturbance.
My heart flutters like a butterfly to your leaf like skin
and you brush me off like the breeze brushing off remorse.
I look in your eyes and see eighteen different sunsets all in
slow motion, every one of them burning like the pain inside your chest.
You need to photosynthesize and my words can be a chloroplast if you
need them to be,
The sun shines over our heads casting shadows on the ground
and all I can think about it how emotionless they make us seem,
As you brush your shoulder against mine and take my hand.
I have forgotten how to hold and you’re teaching me that clenched fists
mean violence.
My hands just brace around your shoulders and I breathe in your
scent steadily.
Sometimes I struggle to take the entirety of you in.
You smell like roses, jasmine, oak and alder,
your words are like honey dripping onto my lips.
There was a night not too long ago that I cannot get out of my mind,
and darling you’re the only thing saving me from getting lost in it.
Your wrists are pumping blood into mine until I ponder if
this, here, is what giving up tastes like.
Tonight, I need to find something different.
Tonight, I need to fly like a bird with no wings and I need you to follow me.
The monsoon is coming and I have forgotten how to hold my breath
under water.
You look at me with a smeared iris and say that you will be my lungs.
We dive deeper and all I can remember is that you are the only
life saver I can rely upon.
Please don’t let me learn to breathe without you.
There was a birch tree just beyond the bench we met at,
I tell you that I’m vulnerable and that you’re the only thing making me feel
like so much more…
But the words get stuck like lady birds in spider webs.
You look at me and say that I am like your favourite piece of sheet music,
And that I am the last thing you ever want to hear…
Your spider silk finger prints trace my collarbone carefully.
Pianissimo I whisper.
And you feed me notes until I am complete.
