You stood there, at the summit of my
merciless memory-
Glitching violently, lips pursed in a smile-
then a frown-
Then glued into a harsh line.
Yet somehow, you looked happier than you ever
did when I was yours.
You fade in and out until the anguish
continues forcing your vocal cords to strain,
you scream out my name as though I was
detaching myself from you.
Almost like you were wrung from the fear that I
could look at you,
Love you,
Turn around and walk
away.
Stop doing that thing you do with your eyes.
It’s playing me like a broken piano,
Your fingertips the only ones who can make me
sound pretty.
How can you forget how your exploration of all
my empty craters,
your relentless discovery of this wreckage,
Of the messed up way my body cries ice
to replace the warmth all the wrong people have
ignited and pretend that I couldn’t care less.
All of this is making all my spinal cords untie
and form knots in all the places your hands used
to be,
You are making me desire the act of falling apart.
Of ceaselessly collapsing like a star laughing
at the inaudible aura I have left behind me.
If I could bother leaving anything at all.
I whisper swollen syllables as though these nouns
could build a pathway to enclose the space between
us.
As though my verbs can ensure safety during a war
that continuously engages forward.
Yet suddenly, you’re gone.
Toppled over the edge of my harsh summit,
succumbing into my grave of lost things,
of chances I was too late for,
people I will never get back.
I cannot blame you though,
I wish I could become lost too.
I remember you like this the best.
Plunging yourself down
relentlessly running from the smoke rising
up above me.
Your lips with hold the only holy water that
can simmer my flame into ash.
Yet here I am, amidst such profound blistering
heat;
In a desire destined to combust.
You are the full stop that ends my sentences.
This distress will just continue going on without you
