Torturous Alone

by Rey Severs   Feb 25, 2018


Life goes on, but I'm not strong,
On repeat, the same old song.
Broken record, the needle skips,
I hear the tune, for just a little bit.

Just a while, with a smile,
Like a hungry crocodile,
Teeth are broad, but then they're gone,
Because I am weak, far from strong

I do not deal with pain, nor emotional burdens,
I can barely sleep as my soul feels the hurting,
I can't live like this, but I know I can,
If only people could understand.

The pain from lights, as they sear flesh,
The agony from sound, I can never rest,
The hurt from too much information,
Bouncing in my head, can find no relation.

I will remember, but never tell you so,
I'll tell you to leave, but don't want you to go,
I'll tear at my skin, until nails are bloody,
I'll bury myself in it, until my soul is muddy.

Help me heal so I do not bend,
Keep me alive, so I may mend,
I'm drowning, I'm sorry, I'm no longer sober,
I'm needy of you, please promise it's over.

So strum that tune, we'll sing along,
Together, work together to play our song,
My heart is weak, we're just in time,
I'm stronger now, and you're still mine.

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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Brenda

    Rei, I felt your pain in every line. Thank you for sharing this. I feel we have all been in this spot of some sort throughout our lives. It's not easy but it does get better. Hang in there. Hugs-

  • 6 years ago

    by Nema

    There is something about the rhyme here that sounds a bit forced, to be honest.
    There is so much suffering and sadness in the poem that it can look even more beautiful without the rhyme. How about you try another version of it without the rhyme, or try to add some inner music to it without focusing too much on getting the right word to rhyme with the other?

    Keep writing! :)

    • 6 years ago

      by Rey Severs

      I was actually writing it whilst choking back tears so could not see :) It followed a rythm I had in my head, more meant to be a song at first.

      I wasn't focused on rhyming, to be honest. When I write, I tend to just pour words on a page from the heart. It's not for everyone. Thanks for the feedback, I will keep the poem as is though since I wrote it for me. Will keep that in mind in future.

  • 6 years ago

    by Em (marmite)

    Aww I like this love can heal and break us can't it? And you portrayed this well through rhyme.. The crocodile stanza was a little off putting in my opinion but I'm glad I finished reading

    • 6 years ago

      by Rey Severs

      A broad grin imitates a crocodile's mouth. A hungry crocodile has a broader grin, So it was relative to me :) This was written not just about love, but about dealing with loss whilst also reflecting how someone on the spectrum feels. Right choices even if painful.

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