if i was just another promise
just another wish
something left for someone to scrape up
where the trails of my feathers
blossom across this shredded room.
I am sorry for what has happened
I'm sorry for how it ended
I'm sorry for today, yesterday and the days before.
all the pain we felt
the good we had not burnt into some abandoned room.
I am sorry you haven't forgiven me for doubting everything you were.
I am sorry for doubting you.
you sculpted perfection and kept it to yourself without realizing what it actually was.
While i stay blinded.
the perfection i speak of isn't immaculate but instead
merely something that worked for me.
in reality, it was full of flaws
but to me. Those flaws were beautiful.
now everything is tarnished
we can't even speak
we can't even be around eachother
and the idea of another seems to make quick
silken pains down our backs.
I am sorry for this
I am sorry for everything
I am sorry for the future,
how its distant.
So very distant.
its cold here
i feel the bitter end
and the end is creeping around my neck
i look for you in other people but don't find it.
i am needy and know what i want now
but i can't put that burden on someone else's shoulders either.
I still care about you
i probably always will
i will probably always wonder if your wake up at night
and grow another year older.
i will most likely always want to know what your day persists like
and that you have taken strides in taking care of yourself
in healthy ways.
something will always bring me back to you in some way
but i will hit block another time.
I will have to block you
for you are toxic.
