not particularly fond
of the best way to describe this
so, I’m going to just say
I don’t even understand it.
I probably never will
it courses through my veins
and poisons me
keeping me from all rational thought.
one moment I’m gallant and fighting
the next I don’t even know where or how
to take a simple shower.
if my walls could speak my name
they would call me lazy,
they would speak all the negativity
my brain thinks.
this thing stays on me and it destroys
everything I fight for.
and everything I want to fight for.
its toxic and I wish it didn’t exist
but in this day and age
it does and it is a life sentence
its not going anywhere anytime soon
and I need someone else
to tell me something is wrong.
it makes me angry, very angry
sometimes upset. becase I guide myself
knowing I can trust what I think
but in reality, I can’t.
at times im irrational and too afraid
or high strung to admit it.
so now I leave with a gentle whisper
and say.
"even though I need to know all that I succumb
there comes a time and place where we all must run
its in our feet and out the door we shouldn’t neglect
but still, I take hours on hours, in my room to reflect.
if I lay another day across a land in strides
there won’t be time for me ofcourse because everything is mine
so then itake another day for you to finally see
that one day, I mea one day, I will indeed be me.
so off I go and those who know of this struggle I do tell
nso please just read this poem and go off and yell
across the lands where nobody knows of anything that I said
till your black and blue and tell it more even when your dead."
