Future lies at the bottom of this bottle (concrete)

by Mr. Darcy   Apr 4, 2018


.

each
gulp
flows
into the
next one,

emptying now,

like my chances;

every opportunity

to reinvent myself,

pissed away, down

the drain of dreams.
.....................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................

.

.

.

Future lies... (senryu)

with each swallow his
regret diluted until
he couldn't care less

© 2018 - Mr. Darcy

7


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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Hm this could've been taken in different ways, the two like you wrote about it could've been about a drunk (sorry I'm very blunt), could've been about the chances missed, or it could've been about emotions lol about how it is hard to control them and so you let them lose and then you regret what you did because you lead your life with emotions and not logic although life should be a balance of both

    - Mori

  • 5 years ago

    by Zia Mikaela

    This is so simple yet, alluring. Awesome!

  • 6 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Not sure when or how I missed this one. Perhaps it was after one of my...bottle-induced debacles on-site that led to another absence.
    Anyway, this is wonderful and I love how you continuously are able to make the most of the very limited formatting options this site provides.
    Take care, Michael.

    • 6 years ago

      by Mr. Darcy

      Thanks, Ben. I'm sure there's loads of your work I've missed. Since the 'revamp' I've missed so much!

  • 6 years ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    The answers are never at the bottom of a bottle - but it doesn't stop us from checking to be sure every now and then! I love the concrete form ... very clever Michael :-) x
    =^.^=

  • 6 years ago

    by Em (marmite)

    Mr D, OK firstly I want to applaud you on making this look like a bottle and if you didn't even try then I apologise it must be because I'm not wearing my glasses lol.. Secondly I also want to say (I probably shouldn't have) thank you for making me chuckle as it's been a long, turbulent day here.. I laughed at 'pissing down' because I couldn't imagine a gentleman like yourself swearing (though I know you probably will) so it shocked me...
    I have to say I had to type in concrete poetry to remember what it was and from what I read it's a tad like shape poetry please correct me if I'm wrong.
    The title is powerful and interesting especially as my initial thought was why does the future lie at the bottom of this bottle... Is it because one is an alcohol and has been told the next drink may kill you or is it the fact then when you get home blind drunk the misses will lol? In all seriousness a very intriguing title.
    The content may be seen as simple but in fact (my humble opinion) it isn't as there could be more than one interpretation. I believe that there is a person scorned who is looking for answers in a bottle so drinks and drinks to find them yet when he/she reaches the bottom of the bottle they realise that drinking was far from the answer and they are much further than where they needed/wanted to be and now they're blind drunk to go with it which isn't a great combination because drinking in my experience makes things a whole lot worse especially the morning after the night before and memories of that night have passed you by and now all you're left with is a stinking hangover unfortunately anywayyysss I love the "pissed away down the drain of dreams" because it lines back to what I was saying about seeking answers and trying teach your hopes and dreams through a bottle.

    Powerful stuff and that my friend is marmite s ramblings finished lol.
    Take care
    Em x

    • 6 years ago

      by Mr. Darcy

      Thank you so much for this lovely in depth comment. X

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