Wow, very well written, especially for so quickly done. I love the last stanza!

I was about to say the same, I love that last stanza, so full of imagery, I felt your hurt, understand your naivete, well done!

Imagine a lump of clay.
Got it?
Now, in one minute I want you to create a head and neck.
Got it?
Now, rework the head, adding the eyes, nose and mouth. Take your time.
Got it?

Where am I going, you ask?

Well, reworking poems can make them come alive. Sometime removing unecessary words/ lines can improve the overall piece.
Less really can be more.

Show me the pain.