Disillusioned Dichotomy

by Aegis   May 22, 2018


My chest is cold and I'm left feeling less
than I am-

disenchanted.

I'm a mess,
I confess.
But if I could only catch my breath
I swear I'd finally get some rest.

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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    We could all do with catching our breath sometimes...
    I like this and I love the rhyme you have incorporated. Your formatting is always easy on the eye, too.
    My only suggested change would be 'I'm left feeling less than I am' - that sounds more correct to my ear. It would also flow better and blend in with the other rhymes more seamlessly.

    Anyway, good stuff.

    Ben

    • 6 years ago

      by Aegis

      I totally agree with you Ben, thank you:)

  • 6 years ago

    by Em (marmite)

    I totally get this

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