If this is anything to do with you or a loved one, there is always hope. We all feel trapped in some way, but there are ways out other than unconsciousness, destruction and death. Escaping the trap is a common human mission, one that we all must take. This poem is long, and sad, but the reason you wrote this (if it is about you), is due to a drive for creation. You do not only have a death drive inside of you; you are capable of creation and goodness as well, just as Demeter was the goddess of famine, yet also of bounty.