Love how you always pack so much meaning into only a few verses. Then of course I had to look up "cacotopia", which gave this poem even more layers and added to the kind of expected despair of being stuck in a continuous cycle with this person. It reminds me of the times we simply exist yet don't grow, trying everything to feel "alive" and fuel our purpose, yet not progressing as a person.

I think when both parties are well aware of how a current relationship is going and come to the same realization, is among one of the worst heartbreaks. You scavenge feelings and memories and try to make them anew while you cling to safety on a centrifuge.