Happy?

The sun is up, and so must I
I must use that mask again,
Smile, and put up a big lie!

I'm here again with this charade,
I know what I am -- STUPID on
joining in this Hippocratic parade.

I gave all my best in every day,
I let you hurt me in every desire you may
Make it quick! So I may keep the pain at bay.

Kill me today and shred my heart into pieces,
for when I'll be gone,
I know I'll be someone nobody misses.

Everyday I must look fine,
Be with people, have fun and be happy with it -
Hypocrisy! That's what they name it.

But I'm happy! The pain is my sun!
I'm happy that I can still feel -
I thought I've already got NONE!

I've got used to the pain and the tears,
That's how love is, they say -
When you're hurting, then it's real.

And as the sun sets, and I go to bed,
I take out my mask, shed all my tears,
feel all the grief, accept all your love,
and be in my sleep.

*************
yeah! crappy? - - - (sorry for that's what i'm feeling right now!)