Oh my goodness!! This is breathtaking!! Your writing is so descriptive and beautiful and raw!! And it flows so smoothly and I just get so lost in that flow until I jump back out at the end and I'm in awe. Beautiful beautiful beautiful!!! (<3)^ I can't click this love button enough!! So glad this is nominated!!

This is different from your first draft. It provides deeper meaning. There are, however, a few edits needed - just typos, I'm sure you'll pick them up when you read it over.

Well done, an excellent piece. :)