That Happy Feeling

It's been a while since I could say
That I have truly been happy.

I mean,
I have been happy.

But not like this.

Not the smile you put on your face
to show good customer service appeal.

Not the laugh you do with your friends
when you guys are out to get a drink or two.

Not the half hugs
that you give to your friends.

No.
True happiness.

The happiness you had
when you were younger
and your mother got you that lollipop
you always wanted.

Or when you got
the video game console
you have been wanting for a long time
on Christmas eve.

Or when you say "I love you"
and the words are not just words
but they carry meaning and depth.

That indescribable feeling
when your entire body is shaking
as if you are high on caffeine
and drunk with the love of life.

I have missed this feeling for so long.

And it's so good to be back.