Goldilocks And The 3 Bears (twisted nursery rhyme)

She battled through the forest all day,
She needed somewhere to rest her eyes.
When she saw the cottage in the clearing,
she said that'll do just nice

She was dreaming away quite peacefully,
When something caused her to wake.
A low pitched growl and then a thud,
That caused the bed to shake.

At the end of the bed there stood mighty bear,
It had massive teeth and claws.
It stared at her for a second or two,
Then let out a mighty roar.

She tried to grab her magic sword,
But the bear was quicker with its paw.
It flew away from her outstretched hand
And skidded across the floor.

She somersaults over the beast,
And lands nimbly on the floor,
But the bear was fast his claws were sharp
And into her flesh they tore.

The pain was intense, her head went dizzy
But she stumbled to the door.
As she crashed into the kitchen,
She noticed there were more.

A mother and cub blocked her exit,
For escape, there was simply not a chance.
So she grabbed the biggest kitchen knife
And screamed "come on its time to dance".

She remembered that when fighting bears
There is no use in shrinking back.
You have to get up close and personal,
And be the first to attack.

Mother bear was the first to fall,
Though she fought bravely for her life,
But there's nothing more than she could do,
When into her brown eye plunged the knife.

The small bear was no match,
And it too soon was dead.
She jumped and landed on its back,
Driving the blade into its head.

The battle was far from over,
The big bear came smashing through the door.
She tried to dodge out of its way,
But it caught her with a claw.

The cuts were deep and nasty,
It had cut her to the bone.
She must retrieve her sword at once,
Or she would die here all alone.

With a run and roll she retrieved the sword
And to her feet she rose
The bear now standing tall, locking eyes,
And for a split second they froze.

The respite was very fleeting,
And they both attacked at pace.
The one to pay in this final fray,
Would be the one who made mistakes.

The bear opened up to take a swipe
And that's when she saw her mark.
She struck with accuracy, power and speed
And drove the sword into its heart.

Body battered and battle weary,
She stumbled out into the cold.
Blood flowing from her many wounds,
Creating red plumes upon the snow.

The woodsman found her unconscious.
He first wiped blood from her head.
He shrugged his shoulders, took her purse and sword,
Then left her there for dead!

When he saw the carnage in the cottage,
He smiled but did not gloat.
And when he left an hour later,

He had a brand new bearskin coat!