Bringing Home The Bacon

Kevin is a splendid chap you know
I've watched him my whole life
I thought today about stealing him away
At the sharp end of a knife

He is such a fine and dandy actor
But those phone adverts drive me insane
Someone please give him a script
So that he may wow us all again.

In footloose he was awesome
And he danced around at bit
Not so sure he'd manage now
Probably developed dodgy hips

As the invisible man he was chilling
And we seen pork boys dark side
If someone like that knocked upon my door
I'd bloody run and hide.

So you see why I'm so perplexed
About those stupid mobile ads
Another victim of gadget marketing
And our technological freaking fads

So will some director reading this
Find him some work to match his flare
For if I snatch him and kidnap him
He will dwell beneath my stairs

I'm sure this would end in trouble
And that I might end up in the slammer
So do him and I a massive favour
And get him behind that camera