You don’t deserve to die

“You don’t deserve to die”.
I repeat the words in my head over and over again and they bounce around in my skull;
Back and forth and back and forth just like the fact that they want to give you the death penalty-
It is there, in my head...but it won’t stick.
My chest aches as tears form in my eyes and stream down my cheeks in seconds as I watch the latest news video on your case;
Not paying any attention to the fact that I’m standing at the back end of the truck in the Walmart parking lot where people can see me.
You do not deserve to die.
A prison sentence I can live with;
I’ll still be able to see and write you all the time but-
The death penalty?
I’d never survive that;
Not completely.
A part of my life already feels like it’s missing now that you’re not here to help complete it.
Them killing you will not bring him back;
All it will do is hurt those who love and care
about you more and I know it sounds
stupid because in the eyes of the law you are not the victim but-
You have people who love you too.
You have people who need you too.
You have people who would go to the ends of the earth to fight for you;
Too.
I could have a life with you that both of us
have deserved our whole lives.
They kill you and they take that away from
me and not just that but-
If they kill you they won’t just be killing
you solely;
They’ll be killing every single part
of me that has ever had any kind of faith in
god and humanity because you’re not a
bad person you just made a really bad drunken mistake but-
They don’t care.
You don’t deserve to die....
You didn’t mean to do it...
Killing you will not bring him back...
How did everything in my life go so wrong so fast?