A Car Deep Red

by Walter   Sep 16, 2018


She was driving to go and be with him
And had not seen him for a while
When she turned the corner to his street
Suddenly then that she lost her smile

There he was again with 'her'
She always thought it quite bizarre
How a grown man like her partner
Could spend so much time with his car

It was almost like he didn't notice
That she had even arrived
His hands always under that bonnet
And it made her feel quite deprived

"We were meant to be going out tonight"
But he just ignored all she said
Kept working while revving the motor
And this only made her see red

"Sorry but I'm tuning the engine
She is almost ready to race
A few more minor adjustments
And I'm sure she'll be winning first place"

The girl now became furious
And it truly has hit a raw nerve
She then stormed off to her own car
Knew this is not what she deserved

She began driving back down his street
Turned off early to go the long way
But after a while started to feel guilty
And thought maybe that she should stay

Angered he decided to go after her
It was a good time to test his car
With his speed he'll catch up in no time
As she couldn't have gone very far

She went around to drive back to him
In a hurry to make all things great
As she turned the corner into his street
She didn't see him until it was too late

He slammed on his brakes and skidded
A collision he could not avoid
He witnessed his beautiful car crumbling
Which made him feel really annoyed

She just sat in silence in her car
Dazed from where she hit her head
Too stunned to even say a word
She watched as her whole body bled

He began to start shouting abuse
Could not see past his car all damaged
Too selfish to know it was her
His pride and joy left totally ravaged

Only when he wanted to know
Who had caused all this pain to him?
So shocked when he realised it was her
Which left him feeling totally grim

"I'm so sorry my beautiful sweetheart
Please forgive me for what I have done"
As he held her hand so tightly
And pleaded for her to hold on

Her eyes closed and thought it ironic
Only now she's considered his pride
When he saw her as deep red as his car
In her last moment just before she died

3


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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Darren

    Missed this previously,
    A great piece of story telling, True that as younger men we can be more obsessed with the material things that what really matters. sometimes we find out the harsh reality too late, as told in this.
    cleverly written.

    • 6 years ago

      by Walter

      Thanks Darren and agreed that as younger men we can sometimes be obsessed by irrelevant things.

  • 6 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Awww what a sad story! But with a great lesson...it's really the people we have that we need to spend time with...not always on things we want or things we wanna do. This flowed out good, smooth rhythm which made the read very smooth.

    • 6 years ago

      by Walter

      Thanks for your comment Mel :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    An excellent tale that took me right back to being a teenager lol. There is something about teenage boys and their cars that makes them seem so much more important than anything else in their world. A well written piece that captivates. Best wishes Milly x

    • 6 years ago

      by Walter

      Thank you Milly x

  • 6 years ago

    by flawed diamond

    WOW! This is so good

    • 6 years ago

      by Walter

      Thanks Sherree :)

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