A Tree in Winter

Andrea, I love this. Somehow I feel this was written with Robyn in mind. Robyn's body, your heart, heavy like when wet snow cakes a tree, cold enough to freeze your tears when the winds blow. Hugs my friend-

I find some contradiction in the language here, which makes it difficult to follow. ‘Rattle’, ‘hang’ x2, and ‘soft breeze’, I feel don’t connect visually, especially since I think the repetition of ‘hang’ conveys a still image, and rattle, I imagine a walking movement? I would always prefer variation in the verb choice too.

Criticism aside, you have written a lovely piece. Most of the language here is well chosen and effective. ‘Weighted root’ is a great simile, and the whole second stanza in general is wonderfully crafted.

I feel some punctuation would add to the flow in the second stanza though, as I had to read it a couple of times just to feel the poem.

The image of a winters tree is always evocative, and this is no different. A very nice write. :)