I hate that you're going through this, or that anyone has to have those dark thoughts. I hate when they return, especially when we think things are changing.

I hope writing this helped serve as a release. The new year is difficult for many, and I can say at least for me, I never do any resolutions or put too much pressure in myself because I sometimes have to live day by day. It's too much to worry if this year will be completely different because sometimes things still haunt us, and the best we can do is try to cope with it.

Wishing you the best. Keep holding on.

Im really sorry to hear that your having such very dark start to the New year. Sending you a big warm hug and all my hopes that things get better for you.

I dont know your circumstances but if it helps...sometimes the only way out of the pits of hell (where nothing changes) is to make change happen yourself.
Sometimes you need to close a few doors and for others to open. Take care and dont give up hope. Milly x