DEPRESSION YET AGAIN

UNTITLED
Suffocating from all those things i hide,
I try to write but I cant i've tried.
This pen holds no more explanations,
of all those things and those expectations.
The loss of hope and maybe even redemption,
It seems my life now is calling out for some attention.
Buried in all my despair and fears,
I desperately try to hold back my lonely tears,
So scared to let one fall and show,
afraid they'd see the sorrow i hold below.
So many times I close my eyes,
And wish for time to pass me by,
Time use to go by so fast but now it goes so slow,
And I just wish that this feeling inside would go.
I'm trying so hard to pick up my life and start again,
But its so hard, when this feeling never ends.
I cant put into words of what I feel inside,
But it grips hold of you and never subsides.
Everyday I try to change all my habits, my ways,
So I can live life again, and love everyday.
I try and do things I once enjoyed,
And all those things that depression once destroyed.
But I guess I will never be able to move on,
Unless those things I keep inside are gone.

*COMMENT AND RATE PLEASE, AND I HATE THE TITLE OF THIS POEM IT DONT SUIT IT, SO IF U HAVE A BETTER PLEASE TELL ME*