Comments : If

  • 5 years ago

    by ddavidd

    I am sure you purposefully ignored all the ponctuations, except a few, specially question marks.
    The order of the sentences seemingly do not follow its reading. But all these, gives the piece some kind of charm. The array of questions that begs the answer, seems also smart.

    Welcome to the site Nyowka.

    • 2 years ago

      by Nyowka Taylor

      Thank u so much for the feedback. Yes I did purposely ignore punctuation expect for a few. It just came to me one day I was just thinking of all the family an friends I have lost in these past few years

  • 5 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I think Bob has a point, for example, "If I fly on the wings of an angel..." to me would read better like that: as one line. The changing of the line on the word "Angel" is rather abrupt and ruins the flow somewhat.
    However, the poem itself is a good one and I enjoyed the content. Just maybe a couple of tweaks here and there. A warm welcome to the site,

    Ben