Out of my mind.

by Blank   Mar 3, 2019


Wondering when it will all come to an end,
These walls that I built are eroding away with every tear I make,
Pushing everyone back,
And locking my cage,
I promise darling it is safer this way,
For I bring pain where I go,
Tragedy where I traverse.
Crows cry when I come by,
And ravens fly high.
Not even the devil dares to dance with me, for one wrong step will end in a mass destruction.
Like the butterfly effect itself,
I flapped my wings and caused a hurricane,
It destroyed everything in my path and drove us apart.
Does it get any worse then this?

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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    That doubt and depravity at the end leaves the reader feeling haunted. There's a sense of hopelessness and like you're trying so hard to protect others even if it means trapping yourself. So that even the devil doesn't want to reach something that will self-destruct, which makes me think how the devil can be seen as a entity that manipulates, but if there is nothing malleable to begin with... like you have given up. The pain travels everywhere.

    Two things: just my opinion but I feel like a few lines could have been separated so it flows more smoothly and if it was a logical line break, not as many commas would be needed. Also, second to last line: "as" should be "us".

    Powerful write but also disturbing how our mind can convince us that others are better of without our impact.

    • 5 years ago

      by Blank

      I think you captured the summary of this poem perfectly, I always love reading your comments as they're so insightful and helpful.
      Thank you for spotting that grammar mistake, silly me.

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