Imposed Insomnia

‘Blood was dripping, as time _____ slipping’

The space is for ‘was’ or an adverb, or even a comma. I find the sentence incomplete, and a little awkward. As an image, it works.

Your word choice in the second stanza is really impressive and detailed. I feel ‘mirror’ and ‘turn’ should be in the same tense though.

Very evocative, and curious as always. You are a talent :)

This poem is set out to make the reader take it's own path. The way you give just enough for everyone to understand but in there way is really clever.
Id like to heard your own explanation of this piece.

For me sleep paralysis is what game to my mind. Time still gong with the blood spilling .

I loved it.

In what seems like a world away I watched a mate, who had been injured laying in a bed.

He had various drips being fed into him. This poem took me right back to that that time.

I'm aware this was not your intention, but thats the brilliant thing about poems.

No two people will read it the same and everyone will take something different away from it.

In translation your initial meaning will perhaps be lost to many but the fact that someone can take something from it is pretty special.

In whatever form that may be.

Craig