A Dictionary of Depression

A modern truncated version

Adventure - A desperately needed distraction.
Bedroom - A place I spend most of my time.
Caring - An emotion lost sometime in childhood. Sometime exists for others, but never for myself.
Dog - My sand dial to tell time.
Excitement - Another emotion, long gone. More rare than caring.
Friends - A magical entity talked about often. I am not convinced they truly exist.
Good - Insult. Often combined with “man”.
Help - Synonym to pity. Sought previously, to no avail.
Interactions - Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhaustive processed I’m good at, but fail to benefit from. Yes, I’m selfish.
Jokes (dark) - I’m not actually lying when I make light of how miserable and hopeless my life is.
Kindness - A priceless commodity I try to give, but is deceptive when received. Often false.
Love - Love can save all, or so I hear. I have to settle for trying to hide my loneliness.
Money - Major incentive; not for myself.
Nice - Most commonly used description others give. As in, he’s so nice. But not in a I want spend time with you or treat you as important in a sort of way.
Online dating - My last-ditch attempt to prove that I tried everything.
Pointless - Literally every action, effort, and attempt to be happy.
Quiet - Preferred setting. Except when I need to drown out the pain or try to feel anything.
Rest - Always needed to keep up the act.
Sex - Used to try to fill the emptiness inside. Usually done alone.
Tinder - Apparently what dating is now. Provides objective proof to how worthless I am.
Unknown - Holds far more hope than anything I’ve ever known, even if there is naught but the void.
Virtue - A mysterious quality people have tried to convince me of things that are right and wrong. I remain unconvinced.
Women - Beautiful creatures. I only want one, but I hope they all find happiness. Probably better off without me around.
Xerox - Anyone could replace me. Just another copy to be used and cast aside.
Zero - The number of people who will care. Before you start, it is physically impossible for you to give a shit about me online. Words mean nothing. But I hope you feel good for the effort.