Such a treat for the tongue. Nicely penned.

I always really enjoy when people try a different poetry type and do it well. Most of the time I find too much punctuation in a poem to be troublesome, but I do think it works well here because they are such short lines, that to me do not interrupt the flow of the poem at all. The thing that threw me off a little bit is the rhyming at the beginning, but I don't think that was intentional, because the rest of the poem does not rhyme at all. The only real *mistake* I see personally is this:

In line 7 "Serious in there Sound." there should be their, because to me it reads like they are owning the sounds, and in grammar with there, their, and they're, ownership is spelled their.

But in general I like the flow and rhythm to this piece. I don't personally see anything that could be different besides the small grammar mistake which I pointed out above.