by Ben Pickard
I like this, Daniel. I believe, traditionally, senryu have a 5, 7, 5 syllable count but I am aware that traditions change! This is 17, I think, just in a different order. |
by D.
Yeah, it’s not a particularly faithful senryu! You’re right. It is 17 though. It wasn’t originally intended to be one. thanks for your insight :) |
I've read this a few times, and I can take the tones in a few different ways. That last line said in contempt, in resentment. That this man could never perhaps be a father emotionally and be selfless enough? But then I also read it as a couple who may be in denial about wanting a child. Who may have wanted to not have children for years and slowly, those feelings changed. Are they both on board? Is the father bitter or will he be pleased that this change, planned or not, is now something he has to either embrace or make a decision about? |
by D.
It’s really interesting the different thoughts I’ve had on the ending when I showed other people. Thank you for your thoughts as ever, always a pleasure reading your comments |