Upside Down

by N3MO   Jun 20, 2019


~Upside Down~

Before my eyes shut I stop and pray
That I’ll never have to see another day
Where children need to stay sleeping
To escape the pain and weeping.
Is all this for real? Kids have to steal for a meal.
Sometimes I really feel like nobody gives a fu**ing deal.

All I ever see are cups that are empty
Begging to be filled by those with plenty.
But we ignore the ones in need
Because we have our own mouths to feed.

I look around at all the people bustling and hustling
So they can afford to buy new flashy stuff
When they know deep down that it’ll never be enough.
Is there really a reason behind all this mindless consumption
Or is this how we’ve all been programmed to function?
Everywhere I look there’s a billboard or ad trying to push the next fad.
Wallets are emptied just to fit in and impress
And I suppose I should confess that I’m in the same mess.

I wonder what happened to the “brighter future” promised by schools.
Seems to me like we’ve been bought like fools.
Putting on our robes thinking we finally graduated
Only to see now that our dreams were fabricated.
The future looks so bright and exciting
Until you see reality as a pit full of dogs fighting.

Things could always be worse I guess
But sayings like that seem worthless
When the world I see is so upside down
That every smile becomes a frown.

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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by D.

    A more spoken word like piece, this. I think we can all agree with the sentiment behind it too, even if not many are willing to act on their words. The poem itself is more lyrical, and suffers a little with some forced rhyme at the beginning:

    ‘Where children need to stay sleeping
    To escape the pain and weeping.
    Is all this for real? Kids have to steal for a meal.
    Sometimes I really feel like nobody gives a fu**ing deal.’

    It’s a little jarring, with your syllable count. I found myself having to read a few times to get the coherence. I’m sure you have it in your head, but written down, ‘stay sleeping’ is odd, as we use ‘stay’ with states like ‘asleep’ or ‘alive’. ‘Continue’ would be a better verb, giving you more rhythmic structure to have another verb in the following line.

    ‘To escape the pain and weeping.’

    Seems a little empty, and the verb ‘escape’ doesn’t feel right with ‘weeping’.

    I must confess I’ve never heard ‘no one gives a deal.’ So I wont comment.

    There are a few more lines in the poem that either feel too wordy or not detailed enough? The first and last lines in stanza 4 for example are a real mouthful.

    Stanza 3 has great flow, and I feel you wrote your way into this poem. At the moment it just feels a little raw and unfinished here and there.

    I liked the sentiment though. Should remind us how lucky we all are.

    • 7 months ago

      by N3MO

      Hey sorry for the really late reply. Found myself back here. Thanks so much for your great critique! I'll definitely try to revise it :D

  • 5 years ago

    by lee

    Is there really a reason behind all this mindless consumption?

    -I think there is. "To FEEL alive"

    Keep on pondering the mysteries of Life tho

  • 5 years ago

    by Hellon

    I loved the rap sound of this whole verse...you had a very good message here and to put it to rap really made me read right through to the end (I love rap :)). The world is very upside down or I think one sided in many ways and you conveyed that very clearly here...Loved it!

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