Sour Sun, Bitter Tea

Wonderful win. Well done.

I can't expand much more then what MA has analysed..nonetheless this is a personal write which hits at different levels of the writer's
life..touching.

Congrats on the win!

I have a great deal of rambling thoughts on this.... I hope you don't mind me sharing.

There was SO much depth in this piece and I'm still thinking about these lines "the yellow rays have been stuck below my bed for years." Then, you declaring the sun is dead made me think of having this energy, this light guiding you and suddenly, it isn't cared for and isn't providing... it's not filling in the cracks and the crevices and it losing belief in itself. It fades away. The word choice of "rotten" was jolting as usually I think of food or living things as having the ability to rot. In a way, this sunshine was your lifeline, at least that's what I thought of. But sunlight can also expose the dust and parts that may usually be hidden away.

The next stanzas unsettled me in the way that it's like your body is fighting this growth, these "naked trees", either some other spirit is trying to overshadow yours or you are realizing and trying to understand extensions of yourself. Branches striving to represent all parts of you. And yet, they are suffocating you. Smothering you. There isn't enough room.

I felt claustrophobia reading this piece and also a theme of self-destruction. Choking on pain, on your own feelings perhaps? The dust, the corners of your soul that aren't tended to, it all affects you. And random, but I also loved the (accidental?) rhyme of "crack" and "back" in the third stanza. That was satisfying for some reason.

Connecting with the title, with the sun going sour (again, like perishable items that can upset you internally if they are past the expiration date) and the bitterness of what you're drinking in, what you're tasting... that all added to the almost uncomfortable lines, of something that isn't pleasant and isn't fresh. Almost a sadness and a decay.

Ahh thank goodness for Jamie nominating this! I just want to come back to this and lose myself in the stanzas again. Some of them even feel like a break from reality with your metaphors and how I'm reading into the lines. It also felt like I, as the reader, am not supposed to decipher each line. Some of it is too personal or kept secret for you and you alone.