It's crazy how fast someone who meant the world to you can just up and leave.
We were together for a year and a half.
You were my first love, my first everything.
We were gonna have a baby, but i miscarried and that's when it all started to go downhill.
We got distant and mean.
After we ended things we tried to stay friends, but it was hard.
It's hard being just friends with somebody you are still in love with.
I would see you every now and then and we would catch up for a bit, but it wasn't anything exciting,
Just the usual how have you been.
I tell you how depressed i've been since we ended things, and you say you have felt the same.
But then we just go back to being distant with each other.
Fast forward two years.
I get a message from you saying you wanted to talk.
My heart does a little dance, because it knows how in love with you i still am.
You tell me that you messed up and that you haven't moved on.
As long as i have been waiting for you to say that i didn't believe you.
We started talking again and everything was good.
You told me you wouldn't hurt me again.
You told me you loved me in front of my family, said you aren't trying to hurt me again because i am the only girl who understands you.
The only girl for you.
We weren't dating but i told you if you left i would go insane.
I was finally happy again.
You promised... but yet you still left.
I got depressed, starting cutting again after being clean for 3 years.
Started doing bad drugs trying to die, and i told you i was in the hospital once and you didn't care enough to ask how i was.
I saw you at the fair and you hugged me.
i texted you that night to tell you how i felt about everything.
you left me on read, blocked me and i didn't hear anything.
My brother told me that you were talking about me to him.
that hurt.
You texted me out of the blue the other day telling me that i was the reason we broke up, that i was the problem.
You told me that you NEVER wanted to talk to me again, that you hated me.
But the weird part about it all is that all your friends tell me that you talk about me all the time, but YOU hate me.
So thank you for breaking my heart again.
But as much as you hurt me i still to this day love you and i don't know if i will ever stop.
Sorry guys.I haven't wrote in a long time so it may not be any good. Please let me know what you think.
