I've been a borderline alcoholic for years
Some people might think it's a joke
But the truth is I'm afraid to face my fears
When I get ready to speak, I choke
I'm afraid I'll be a disappointment
I'm smart, I know what's at stake
I'm afraid they won't look at me the same
I don't want to become a mistake
My logic is slowly fading away
I look in the mirror and don't know who I am
Is this the person I've always been
This entire time have I been living a sham?
I look at my eyes. Have these always been my eyes?
Have they always been so dark and so sad?
I look at my face. Has this always been my face?
When did I start to look so bad?
I look at my mom, I can't let her down
She's always had to be so brave
She went through too much already
I can't force her to an early grave
I look at my dad and I know he hurts too
He's good at putting up a front
He stays busy outside until it's too dark to see
Happiness is all we want
But when I'm drinking, none of this even matters
I'm doing what I need to get by
I don't care about the feelings of others around me
I don't care if I cause them to cry
This drug has completely taken over my life
I don't know who I am anymore
But the worst part is that I'm afraid to change
I don't have anything to live for
I'm afraid of who I'll be if I'm sober and clean
I've always needed some kind of buzz
Doesn't matter if I'm happy or sad
A good enough reason is just because
I wan't to be great, I tell myself everyday
And I will, I know that I can
But firstI need this drink , one will be good
I have to get a drink in my hand
So what advice do you have for a drunk and her family
Grief has really taken it's toll
Succumb or fight back, which will they choose
Get up or dig deeper into the hole
