Pain in ink

I cannot explain to you
the pain that I'm going through
for I have no reason to why it's there
But I'll try to describe it
and that is all I'll do
hoping I can be just and fair

I can tell you it's chaotic
And unstable at all times
and if I'm gonna be poetic
by choosing words that rhyme
I'll end up with a nice story
To which it's not the time

So let me tell you how it feels
to be inside my head
It's like your clock has stopped
Yet everyone around you is still moving
On a train
That you're stuck under
Fighting for survival
And your lungs are filled with water
You cannot breathe at all
All alone, you crawl
Out of a mind that became your prison
With bars so high
That anytime you try
Climbing above them, you fall
Hard and loud
Screaming without a sound
And you know no matter what you do
You will always be stuck
In a cycle of heartbreaks
And a trail of bad luck
You will always be underneath
The layers you've built yourself,
Piece by piece,
Unable to get out
From under a moving train
Shouting silently for help
While laying in a pool of rain
And whenever you think
that you broke through
You find yourself drowning
And your hands turning blue
And before you can even blink
The pain hits you
In a last drop of ink