Twisted feelings

My heart is broken, yet full
I don't know what to do...
or what to think.
Will I ever feel "normal" again,
will I be able to "move on"?

I've been told what i'm feeling
is called healing...
My only question is,
Can I opt out of this??
Because I don't like this!!

My heart has hurt for so long
and to feel joy feels wrong,
like i'm guilty of feeling happy.
...but maybe it's okay to feel happy,
maybe it's okay to "move on",
Even if it's only for a little while.