The questions?

Im not sure what to tell you. I can only say that solitude isn’t bad. Solitude and loneliness are two different things. Feeling lonely is not a good feeling;however, you can be alone in solitude and not feel lonely at all. Solitude allows one to connect with our thoughts and at times to meditate about our life. It helps to clear our minds and see our life from another perspective. I hope you can find the answer to your question of why, but above all I hope you find peace.