Dear God..
What have I become..?
A monster of some sort.
I can't look into the mirror.
My soul is disgust..
It hurts to see that little kid,filled with hope and dreams..
Being engulfed by these darkness..
I'm sure this is not what you intended me to be..
My prayers are full of curses and screams..
I hope you forgive me..
But sometimes It almost feels like you have forsaken me..
I'm spiralling down into this abyss of sins.
And sometimes I wonder would roses still be beautiful without its thorns ?
What will they remember me for, when I'm gone?
There's not much I've done.
Monster of pain in the lives of people who actually care is what I have become..
My skin burns, my existence hurts..
Emotions dead, hell inside my head..
I'm the monster under the bed.
I feed off of fear..
sometimes my presence haunts me.
It's like I'm two different entity trapped in one ..
It's a constant warfare..
Living on alcohol and antidepressants..
Deep inside I'm still that lonely child with no friends..
Every time I look into my childhood, why I grew up to be so cold starts to make sense..
I got a mind of a serial killer..
Cold, calculated, with no conscience ..
Or I may be a pure soul with some stains of sins..
I thrive on evil. .
Other peoples nightmares are my wet dreams..
Sometimes I cut myself so deep that my soul screams in agony..
Goodness inside me is not yet ebbed,
Or at least that's is what i like to believe..
I just need you in my life
before its completely faded..
So show a sign ..
Tell me you're still my father and I'm your child
Tell me that you still care..
That you're right here..
-love yours
