I and You

I And You

Many years ago
I never thought I would say
Is this all there is
Or should I be aware
of any other way

Where are those streets
Where are those homes
Those people
Those feelings
Where are those schools
and those dreams

Why must I forget the past
if it is I
and my inner being
that wants to last
My entire inner whole
where did it go
Oh
how real it still seems
the aria of my role
I used to perform
I still sing it in my dreams

Not being able to go back
and in understanding
my lack
is what hurts the most
My inability to relive
at any cost
My need to extrapolate
at this age
so late
and in owning
of once my feelings

I cannot enjoy the same smiles
the same visits or travels
that lasted a long while
the same role
the same line
Let’s not forget
they are no longer mine
The same errors
the same glories
the same
and some I regret

And yet now
when I look at you
my love
who lives a long constant war
with pain
but manage
to stay sane

Your pain ignores
even a lifeless solitude
slow to subside
On your relief imploring chant
falls the snowstorm
that invades your heart
and conceals your bare anguish

Your never-ending solitary pain
has no friends
to help you obtain
even the smallest flight of joy
Pain with the color of blood
sharp as knife
that hurts like the worst child
one could never have in life

Along with your dysfunctional
years of youth
you are able to keep
your good nature

So hard and yet
this is the truth
Unbelievably you can keep
somewhat of a serenity
which yes of course
of your rare beauty
it is also the source

Your profound ability
to sacrifice
protects you
from any possible demise
So
you always win
when you throw the dice

As for me
how can I complain
knowing that you
(if in my shoes)
double sanity and life
you could attain

My love
when we now look
at our Trisomy twenty-one
daughter Lu
our problems
seem so few