My first love was my true love. We took 30 years to give it a go, but he was tainted by life, & his stubbornness to accept love in to his heart. It broke me, yet I stayed, & I loved until I wasn't me anymore.
But he is gone. We have remained friends, as we always had been, except he is now no longer on a pedestal, & I now no longer wear rose coloured specs. Life is better. A new relationship has my full attention now that I don't have my own ghost to carry. I'm not sure how you wrote your poem, but this is how I read & related.
Catherine x