Eventually your memory will fade-
Almost completely.
Let’s face it;
This relationship was too traumatic to ever really go away forever but:
There will come a time when I go weeks, months, even years,
Without the thought of
you going through my head
or without an unwanted memory of you resurfacing out of nowhere.
I wanted to have high hopes
that if you ever really did care you would cooperate with the suit but;
As soon as it crossed my mind I disregarded it because the only person you ever cared about saving was yourself-
And that left me to drown so many times.
Everything comes and goes in waves:
The anger the betrayal the loss.
You pop in my dreams every now and then only for me to scream that I don’t love you anymore and I wake up hysterical,
They’re a different type of nightmare than the ones I suffered from the first time I lost you.
This time YOU are the nightmare.
I’ve wanted so many answers from you for so long,
But I’m starting to wonder if all of my questions are better off unanswered.
What happens when the five years are up?
What happens if you try to contact me?
Why did you choose to hurt me instead of help me?
Did you ever really love me or?
That coffee shop scenario-
Would I even want to see you to talk to you about any of this?
My head hurts.
So does my heart, but only because I’m just so tired of the raw emotions that come with anything that has to do with you.
